Sorting out the plot

In the shower at the gym today I realised I'd have to do quite a large re-write of the opening scene. Gurdjieff and Rasputin have to go. I wasn't too sure what I was going to do with them and to sort out my present plot problems I have to drain the swamp a bit. Anyway I had too many characters as it was. So I breathed a sigh of relief - phew!

I needed a better first scene anyway if I was ever going to impress a publisher or agent. Things are now slowly beginning to sort themselves out in my head. I still need to figure out one or two plot elements though before I can start the next scene. And I can't delay bringing the gentlemen rankers back into the story any longer. For a story that named after them they've been off stage for far too long!

So say farewell to this pair. Not that you ever really had much of a chance to say hello.

Chapter 3 Scene 3

Link to Google Drive Chapter 3 Scene 3

Mr Oneshovel solves a murder

here is a tourism video of Dover castle

Chapter 3 Scene 2

The gentlemen rankers go to Dover Castle

Link to Google Drive Chapter 3 Scene 2

I can never find a picture of Dover castle that shows it in a more modern light with the rooms and so on that I know to be there.








Dr Lanyon is clearly the son of a a much more famous fictional father. I have made his character very different to that of his father though. Here are some of the actors who I picture when I think of my Dr Lanyon. First though here are two actors who have played him (Lanyon pere)  in movies whose names I never knew or have forgotten.

They sort of fit the bill for a British post war film.- authoritive and conventional.

I'd have, playing my Doctor Lanyon,  perhaps Denholm Elliutt or Stephen Fry (above). But when it came down to it I thought actually that John Hannah was the best fit.

Once more unto Dorothea brande

Actually it's going quite well. More says then not over the last two weeks or so I've woken at 7.00 with my vacuum of coffee, done a brief meditation and started writing. I usually manage about 45 minutes before the urge to check emails and such becomes too great. I'm not sure I'm getting more in tune with my subconscious but I do write. I'm going to try and keep it going for a while longer and see what else Dorothea has to say.

Chapter 3 Scene 1.3

The Gentlemen Rankers depart Ain Seffra and meet the French Foreign Legion

link to Google Drive Gentlemen Rankers Chapter 3 Scene 1.3

The French Foreign Legion pretty much began its illustrious history in Algeria. I think these pics are fairly accurate.

Richard Rassendyll turns up again. Here a re three more takes on what he might look like.

 Errol Flynn (left) and David Niven (right) shared a flat in the early days of Hollywood. They appeared in several films together. I think the Flynn might be a bit closer to my Rassendyll.

Douglas Fairbanks jnr is another contended. He is seen here as Rupert of Henzau from the Prisoner of Zenda - a suitably devil may care role.

Another go at Dorothea Brande

I gave it a good try this morning. I remembered to try and do some introductory meditation exercises. I used ones from Brain States by Tom Kenyon. Also I was try to see how I close I could get to Anthony Trollope's speed of writing. He set himself a target, apparently, of 250 words every 15 minutes.

The result was, that I started Chapter 5 Scene 4. I was doing as prescribed by the Sydney Writers' studio. That is I was trying to let my subconscious take over and just write willy nilly without correction or editing as I went.

It is quite a complicated scene to describe - essentially a pole vault before anyone quite knew what a pole vault was. Women didn't do it all.

I just about got up to Trollope speed but ran out of steam after about 20 minutes in which I got 300 words written. I don't feel it was altogether a success. On the hand I DO have 300 words of the scene on paper I suppose. I'll try and revise those a bit later and try again with this approach tomorrow,

Plot planning

I started out with a synopsis, well the beginning of one really. It didn't last long. Almost as soon as I had written the first couple of scenes I had to keep changing it. I do try and plan the structure of scenes. This is a version that will not last too much longer. I am sure it helps but the truth is I shall not have a plot that I can shape properly until I have worked my way through to the end of the first draft and can look back. My fear is that when I get there the task will be too daunting.

Dorothea Brande again

For the last week I've been trying as well as I can to follow the Dorothea Brande approach. That is to say I have been setting the alarm for 7.00 making myself a vacuum flask of coffee and hitting the keyboard as soon as the PC powers up without venturing onto email or anything else. Probably I should try a few minutes meditation first but I haven't yet. I'd say that I'm still undecided. It certainly means that I start the day with a few hundred words written, that's true. On the other hand I feel half dead when I wake up. Does everyone feel that way? I never know. It is getting better though, I think. I can't say that it really helps me better tune into my subconscious. On the other hand the ideas seem to come as well as they do at any other time. I can't really say whether they're better or not. I'm going to keep trying for a while longer.

Chapter 3 Scene 1.2

In the house of Isabelle Eberhardt

Link to Google Drive Chapter 3 Scene 1.2

The Gentlemen Rankers talk to Isabelle Eberhardt

It was something of a surprise for me to actually find a picture of the flood. I shall have to make reference to the French Foreign Legion in the next rewrite. It now seems clear they had a base there.














Here is photo of a flash flood.

 I think that I've posted pictures of Isabelle Eberhartdt before but this is where they more rightly belong. I really MUST start spelling her name right!

Chapter 3 Scene 1.1

Back to the Gentlemen Rankers themselves who have now arrived in Algeria.
Chapter 3 Scene 1.1

Apparently this is what Algeria looks like - with camels of course.

I'm very partial to camels - not to the extent of riding one or even going near one but somehow they are a wonderful combination of the noble and the comical.

I was determined that they should be in the story somewhere.

Perhaps my scene would look like this.












The camels in Weeping Camel aside from being the wrong sort were very lovely - just not for the four hours that the film seemed to drag on for.




I S Johar would have to be my casting for the guide. Actually he was Indian but was for many years a sort of all purpose dusky foreigner in British Movies. I remember him particularly in North West Frontier. That portrayal was criticized by the politically correct as being a characterture. George MacDonald Fraser retorted that anyone who had been to India at that time and for years afterwards would instantly recognise the person played.


The town of  Ain Sefra was surprisingly well represented on Google. It is a bit grander than I showed it. I was only guessing. I might change a few things come the rewrite.

















Probably too many but I couldn't resist putting them all in.

 Thinking more about the gentlemen rankers themselves here are three more pictures I muse over

Richmond Writers' Circle

The day after the Wednesday Richmond Writers' meeting - the high spot of my writing week! One of the main things I get from this is the heightening of my own critical faculties when I am reading to others in this situation. It is quite different even to reading aloud on my own. Also, I am more sensitively attuned to the comments of others. This is the reason why people are generous in the praise and circumspect in their criticism. Both the writers' groups I have attended, in Richmond and in Sydney, have been especially good at this. I suppose that is down to the sort of people who get involved.

Yesterday reinforced what I know already in a way. I have to work more on delineating my characters. Characters and plot are very chicken and egg. The plot partially evolves from well developed characters and characters are developed to serve the plot. And, yes, I can also see some plot problems coming. Actually they are here in what I shall be writing this week.

I shall try to approach things in a way I discovered flicking through a 'how to' book I saw in the Saltaire bookshop. (I wish I had bought it,) First, I shall try and push on to complete a first draft of the story and accept that there are going to be many weaknesses in the result. I am, after all, learning on the job as I go. My first rewrite will be to try and tie up all the plot loose ends and implausibilities. The next will be to sort out the characters. The one after that will be to attune dialogue to the characters. I wish I can remember what comes after that. Never mind perhaps I shall come across the book again.

http://richmondwriterscircle.org/

Chapter 2 Readability Stats

As I posted for Chapter 1 here are the Chapter 2 readability stats taken from Word as recommended by Jim Smith, I pretty much kept the Flesch score above the target suggested by Jim Smith of 80.  Also I pick up pace a bit in the action sequences - so I'm fairly pleased with that aspect of it.

I followed the Ladies of the Kensington Gore Croquet Club because I had to give the gentleman Rankers time to get from India to Algeria where I wanted them for their next scene. I am conscious though of the point made by some people that the book says it is about the Gentleman Rankers and I tend to give more time to the KGCC. I'll confess that this is at least partially because I enjoy writing the women. I shall have to see how it goes and evaluate it more when I get to the end of the first draft. (About the end of 2013 at this rate).

For Wikipedia on readability tests see wiki article on readability

Scene / segment	Version	Words	words per sentence	characters per word	Flesch	Flesch / Kincaid	Passives
1.1	V1.0	1,201	11	4.2	80.8	4.6	0.0%
1.2	V1.0	1,244	10.9	4.2	81.6	4.5	0.0%
2	V1.0	1,575	11.3	4.3	78.1	5.1	1.0%
3.1	V1.0	1,317	9.9	4.3	81.0	4.3	0.0%
3.2	V1.0	1,672	11.3	4.2	81.1	4.7	3.0%
3.3	V1.0	1,042	9.7	4.2	85.8	3.7	1.0%
3.4	V1.0	1,566	12.0	4.2	80.1	5.0	1.0%
3.5	V1.0	1,782	11.9	4.2	82.4	4.7	4.0%
3.6	V1.0	1,399	10.9	4.1	81.5	4.5	2.0%
		12,798

Chapter 2 Scene 6

n uneasy return from Scotland

\link to Google Drive Chapter 2 Scene 6

I haven't a lot to say about this scene. Its purpose is to set up future conflict.

I was a bit disappointed that the train South was not then called the Flying Scotsman. The Scotch Express doesn't have the same ring to it. The Flying Scotsman was famous when I was young partially because I think someone had made a speeded up film of the journey.

 By 1904 the Scotch Express had a dining car and a corridor. The meal break stop was no longer necessary. I forget how the journey took - getting on for 12 hours I should think.

Chapter 2 Scene 3.5

The ladies of the Kensington Gore Croquet Club are attacked in a grotto.

Link to Google Drive

Chapter 2 Scene 3.5

This is an "then all hell broke loose" scene (a phrase Elmore Leonard says you must never use) Leonard is right of course - the trouble is he says you mustn't use "suddenly" either which I find much harder. Avoiding it does seem to me a good discipline though.

One of the things that was a great movie experience for me as a child was the atack on the Nautilus by the giant squid. Someone once said that if you want a single symbol of what steampunk is go for the Nautilas in 20,000 Leagues under the sea.  And let's face it, by the loch there does have to be some sort of monster.

I was hoping for something really atmospheric for the underground quay

When it comes to secret passageways my mind never goes far past Young Frankenstein. You remember? "Put - the - candle - BACK!"








There is supposed to be a secret passage at Boleskine to the graveyard at least. I don't think it's ever been found.

My idea of a Kraken - I could go quite as far as the one in Pirates of the Carribbean

Twenty thousand leagues under the sea is one of the first movies I can remember seeing and being thrilled by. No wonder I'm a steampunk fan.

This is the toy my parents bought me after the movie. I have a precise memory of playing with it in a rock pool at Brixham

Janet at her most dramatic.Who would have thought that that nice Geraldine McKewan from Miss Marple could look like that. Her fist film role was about when I was playing with my Nautilus. There's a thought.

I wanted something really KAPOW!!! for Angel's rifle / shotgun. I'm not sure the Winchester is exactly right but there's only so much research you can do.




Well here is one of the scenes that thrilled me all those tears ago. My goodness, doesn't it look like return to the forbidden planet?

James mason and giant squid

and here is the one that stayed in my mind.

Mason ventures out

Mens sana in corpore sano

"You should pray for a sound mind in a sound body," says Juvenal - my father too, as it happens. 

Here I come to the old joke (Douglas Adams perhaps)

'At time like this I wish I'd listened to what my father said.'
'Why, what did he say?'
'I don't know i didn't listen.'

 I didn't either. I wish I had ; the bit about keeping healthy anyway, The hour or so I spend in the Gym most days does wonders for my creativity. I'm getting the hang of meditating while I do the exercises and that seems to work well.


And so, here by way of evidence - yes I really do it - and not a pretty sight you'll agree - this is me at the Gym becoming inspired.

My health plans go along with my writing plans, more or less.  By the end of 2013 I plan to have my second draft finished and to be at the right weight for my height. (About a stone or so to go)